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  A little squirming and repositioning, Nev ended upright, arms braced beside Jamal’s head. It also took a hand from Jamal to hold his cock at a vertical enough angle for Nev to place the tip at his split. He relaxed his thighs, and Jamal’s cock pushed into him. Bigger than fingers, yeah, that was very true. But his opening was so slick, the stretch barely burned as he sank further. So full. Pressure in…good places. Finally, his body was all the way down. Jamal hilted inside him, and it pushed on…something that made his eyes feel like they were going to roll back in pleasure.

  ::Catch your breath, then ride me.::

  At first, Nev wasn’t sure what the ride part meant. Then Jamal flexed his hips up. Nev moaned again. If all the things Jamal had already done felt exquisite, this then was perhaps even better in a whole different way. He rose up a bit and sank again. Oooohhhh…

  They fell into a rhythm.

  Nev felt Jamal’s pleasure washing through him as well, and it hit a crest, a blinding bright sort of lightning strike in his head, or was that Jamal’s? Both bodies pulsed in waves of pleasure, spiraling down until Nev lay almost limp on Jamal’s chest.

  ::Mmm. Good.::

  Nev was amused by the fact Jamal was as blissfully drowsy as he was. ::Sleep?::

  ::Probably ought to get a cloth and clean up first.:: Slowly, Jamal eased Nev onto the bed again and went toward the room with the bath. He returned with a wet cloth and wiped both himself and Nev.

  “I am so tired.” Nev held out a hand to Jamal.

  “Now you can blow out the oil lamps.” He drew Nev into his arms again.

  Nev waved a finger toward the lamps, and they went out.

  Chapter 4

  Archmage Reza was not at all what Nev expected. His previous master, Kustaa, and the few other mages he had met while serving Kustaa, tended toward aggressive and authoritarian. Reza was a small man in a straw hat, with a cane in one hand.

  “I take it you are Nev,” the man said. “I’m Reza. I didn’t really want a student. I thought I was done with students, but apparently the powers that be want me to teach you.” With that, he rolled his eyes. They stood on the open air balcony outside Nev’s quarters. Nev had gone out to explore, and the man had come strolling out toward him.

  “Yes, I’m Nev.”

  “Show me what you’ve got.”

  “Excuse me?” Nev wasn’t sure what the mage was looking for.

  “Show me some magic.”

  There was an unlit candle on a table. Nev raised his hand in the direction of it, and the candle flame sprang up. He also felt like he wanted to flinch, or maybe that was run and hide, because there had been too many months of hiding he could do any magic at all.

  “Er…okay. Nice, but that was pretty piddly-squat.” Reza made a face.

  The only other thing that came to mind was to move the pot out here on the terrace that contained a plant. He closed his eyes for a moment, gathering his will. When he opened them, used his hand again to direct his magic. The pot lifted, floated to the left, and then sank to the floor again. Nev gripped the edge of the terrace wall, dizzy and drained.

  “Humph.” Reza did not sound particularly pleased. “Using energy from your own body is a last ditch, no other source, level of magic. You have a lot to learn.”

  * * * *

  Had it really only been a week since Jamal had seen Nev? It felt like eons, or at least months. In the evening light, he and Hanifa ran toward the marker in the sand that denoted a furlong of distance down the road that passed the garrison. It was part of the weekly training requirements. As long as there were no firestorms, each guardsman was supposed to do a lap every two days. This week, Jamal ran every day.

  He slowed to stop as he reached the marker and leaned over to catch his breath.

  “Do you think if you focus hard enough on training and combat skills, you’ll stop missing him?” Hanifa asked. She stopped a few feet from him.

  Jamal straightened up and glared at her. “Fuck you.”

  “I’d offer if you thought it would help.”

  “Eww. Too much like screwing my sister.”

  “I thought you only had brothers.”

  “I do, but still…” He put a hand on the stone marker post and stretched out his calves.

  “Maybe you should put in for a transfer to the Headquarters complex.”

  Jamal stared at the ground for a bit before looking back at Hanifa. “Because that would be so damn good for my career.”

  “Enh, okay, maybe not, but then again, you might have to choose.”

  “This is all so completely beyond my control. Even if I got a posting to the complex, there’s no guarantee that we could be together. He’s on the fast track for some kind of magic training, and I’m just a soldier.”

  “Have you written to him?” Hanifa asked.

  “No. I wouldn’t know what to say anyway. Anyway, I’m going back.” Jamal began to run toward the garrison.

  * * * *

  “Again. Feel the heat of the sun. Draw it in and then use it,” Reza said.

  Nev wanted to sit down on the ground and just scream. He was hot and tired and dirty, the entire mess compounded by cramps. Days and days of instruction and drills with Reza were wearing on him. Reza clomped along the path outside the back of the military complex, straw hat tipped forward, cane making marks in the sandy dirt.

  Nev’s current task was supposed to be turning the power from the sun into a whirlwind. All he could seem to achieve was a gust of air that wouldn’t spin. It wouldn’t even stay in one direction and frequently blew sand and dirt all over him.

  “I can’t. It doesn’t work. I can’t do this.”

  “Son, you can do anything you can put your mind to.”

  That was the tipping point. Nev shouted. “I’m not a son. I’m not even a man. I’m tveir. Damn it, today I’m more of a woman. I want you and everyone else to stop categorizing me!” And then he panicked and wondered if the archmage would punish him or kill him for such a blatant display of anger.

  “Do you want to be a woman?” Reza asked simply.

  That startled the hell out of Nev. No one had ever asked him if he wanted to be different than what he was. “I…sort of, maybe, but sometimes not.”

  “You can change the way you look, if you think that would help.”

  “How?”

  “Magic. You have the power. I’m just an old man. Do whatever makes you feel…like you,” Reza commented.

  “But…” Nev gave in just a little to his feeling of being out of control. He plopped down on the ground and leaned his forehead against his knees.

  “Okay…you need a break. Meet me tomorrow morning for breakfast in the mess hall per usual.” Reza walked away.

  Nev sat there for a while, feeling miserable. Eventually, he scraped himself off the ground and began the trudge back in the direction of his quarters. Along the way, there was a spring that produced a steady trickle of water. A crooked line of trees followed the path of the water. Trees were not the only thing that went along that track. Days ago, Reza had taught Nev to feel for the ley line that crossed the area.

  To Nev, the ley line felt like a crackle of the air after a lightning bolt. It made his body buzz and tremble when he reached for it.

  He stopped under a tree, grateful for the shade it gave. His mind was still fixating on what Reza had said. If he knew how to change, what would he change? Damn it, he wanted long hair, hair as long as Hanifa’s. And for his jaw to not have the square angle that made his face resemble a teenage boy’s, something a bit softer. His body, though? He wanted to have muscles, so he would look like man when he felt like one…which was not today.

  Reaching out with all his frustration, he tangled his will in the energy of the ley line and pulled it into himself. His body began to tingle, then it evolved into a nerve jangling buzz, and culminated in a surge that ran all the way up to pain. Then it stopped. Nev collapsed the ground, gasping and whimpering. Tears streamed down his face.

  A
fter a bit, he caught his breath and swiped a sleeve across his eyes and cheeks. An echo of the pain persisted, and it took another few minutes before he sat up. Gods…what had he done? He looked around. The tree was unchanged. The spring continued to gurgle along. The light gust of a breeze stirred the leaves above him and his hair. His hair? Nev suddenly realized that hair hung around his shoulders, sticking to the dampness remaining on one cheek. What? He reached up and ran his hands along the sides of his head. His fingers thread through long silky fine hair. He grabbed a handful and pulled. Ow. Okay, so maybe it wasn’t some kind of hallucination. He stared at his hand. That didn’t look any different. The hair thing, though…he was astounded.

  Nev scraped himself off the ground and walked back to his quarters. He wouldn’t have thought it was possible to feel both exhausted and crawling out of his skin at the same time, but that was the way he felt.

  His quarters were dimly lit. He had left the curtains to the exterior windows drawn shut. In the semi-darkness, he padded into the bathroom and started the water running. Stripping out of his dusty, sweaty clothes, including the folded length of fabric in his undergarment that was saturated with dark blood, he looked in the mirror.

  It was startling to see the shoulder-length hair. There were other changes, too. Were his shoulders wider, or what that an illusion created by somewhat more visible musculature in his chest and arms. His nipples appeared larger and protruded slightly. Mostly, he just stared. He had always been tveir, ever since his creation. There had been no actual childhood. He had only been a handspan shorter in those first days of consciousness, quickly being taught to eat, crawl, then walk and speak in the span of a few weeks. Soon thereafter, he had come to understand that all others in the household had one gender identity. He was stuck in a forever limbo of being both. It hadn’t taken long to gain some understanding that if he conformed to the appearance of a young man as much as possible, there were fewer problems.

  Continuing to stare, he smiled slightly. The changes made his body feel more like it conformed to his mind, an equal blend of female and male.

  Nev turned off the flowing water and stepped down into the deep tub. The heat immediately began to ease the muscle aches and the cramps in his belly. He bent his knees up and hugged them loosely. The desire to burst into tears was back again. He wanted to talk about what happened with someone who actually cared. Jamal. How many days had it been? A complete moon cycle and then some. What were the chances he would see Jamal again at all? Unknown. He glanced at the small carved wooden bird that sat on the table against the wall.

  Nev wept.

  * * * *

  When Captain Bhati requested two volunteers to carry a packet of official documents to headquarters, Jamal was the first to raise his hand. Convincing Tarik to accompany him took a little more persuasion.

  “You’ll have a night in the city to do whatever the hell you want,” Jamal said, elbowing Tarik. “Visit family, or go out drinking. You could even hit up one of the sex worker shops if you’re desperate and don’t mind paying.”

  Tarik rolled his eyes. “Do I look that hard up? And I know what you’re going to be doing.”

  “Only if they let me see him. The last rumor I heard was that he was being groomed for the magical defense corps.”

  “So that makes him important.”

  “Yes, I think, but whether that allows me to see him, I don’t know.”

  “One step at a time. Either way, I guess we’re saddling up and collecting the document package from the captain.” Tarik beckoned Jamal as he headed toward the stable.

  * * * *

  The ride to Headquarters was long and hot. Similar to the last journey, Jamal and Tarik arrived after sunset. They delivered the packet of documents to the administrative office.

  Jamal asked the lieutenant who signed for receiving the packet, “Am I allowed to see a mage who’s training here? His name is Nev.”

  “The little Perathean guy?” The lieutenant asked.

  “Yes.”

  “As far as I know, it’s okay. I think they’re only regulating his contact with civilians.”

  “Is he housed in the same place as when he arrived?”

  “I haven’t heard otherwise.”

  “I plan to pay him a visit this evening. I just want to make sure no regs are being broken that will get either of us into trouble.”

  “There’re no issues that I know of.”

  Jamal thanked the lieutenant and walked out of the office along with Tarik.

  “Guess I’ll see you in the morning?” Tarik poked him in the arm with a finger and walked toward the north gate that led out of the complex.

  “I hope.” Suddenly, Jamal felt nervous. He hadn’t seen Nev in weeks. There had been no communication in either direction. What if the connection that had been evolving between them had faded away?

  At the building where Nev was housed, one of the headquarters staff members sat doing paperwork in a small alcove just inside the entrance.

  “I’m here to see Nev,” Jamal said. “Is he around?”

  “And you are?” The man raised an eyebrow.

  “Jamal Fayed. I’m a guardsman at Garrison Nine. Nev is a friend.” Jamal showed the man the metal seal he carried in his belt pouch. It identified him as military.

  “You may go up.”

  Jamal nodded and climbed the stairs. He hesitated in front of the door at the top. If this turned out to be a bad idea, he’d go try and catch up to Tarik. He knocked on the door.

  A few moments passed before it opened. Jamal was slightly startled. Nev’s hair was long enough to brush his shoulders, and it seemed like the planes of his face had softened. In the light from the oil lamps on the table in the main room, Jamal thought Nev’s body looked more solid and muscular.

  If Jamal felt startled, Nev looked wide-eyed shocked. He flung his arms around Jamal and hugged him tightly. “Oh, Gods, I’ve missed you so much.”

  Jamal hugged him back and then cradled Nev’s face in his hands. He kissed him. “I missed you, too.”

  They stood in the open doorway, holding each other and kissing for a number of minutes. Nev eventually said, “Come in. Can you stay more than a few minutes? Are you here on garrison business?”

  Jamal shut the door behind them. “Tarik and I delivered a packet of communiqués to the command office. I can stay the night.” He brushed a long strand of hair back from Nev’s face. “You’ve changed. How did your hair get this long this fast? And have they been training you for hand to hand combat? You’re not quite as waif thin as you were.”

  Nev gave him a rueful, slightly embarrassed smile. “Magic. Reza’s mostly been training me for more military things like controlling wind and deflecting weapons, but I sort of inadvertently found a way to change my body, too. You don’t like it?”

  “I like it a lot. It seems like you’re more in control of you. Well, at least who you are, even if you’re still working for someone else. But then, I guess most of us answer to our commanding officers anyway. They are treating you okay, aren’t they? I mean not like the way Kustaa did, draining you dry and treating you like slave?”

  “I’m considered to be a student, more or less. I even have a certain measure of freedom as long as I remain within the walls of the complex.”

  “More or less?” Jamal asked.

  “The phrase I heard used recently was—becoming a valuable asset.”

  “Er, I guess that still translates to a limit to the decisions you are allowed to make for yourself?”

  “Even the Archmage seems to report to General Mengal, so very few people appear to make decisions with no constraints. Still…I have the most freedom here that I’ve ever had.”

  Jamal traced his fingers along Nev’s jaw. To be this close, to be able to touch Nev again, caused emotions to surge with him. He wanted skin on skin, intimate closeness, and yet felt guilty that such physical attraction seemed to overwhelm the pleasure of just being with Nev.

  Nev curled
a hand against the side of Jamal’s. ::No regrets. I want to be with you too.:: He leaned in and brushed his lips along the underside of Jamal’s chin. ::We have so little time.::

  The soft echoing voice inside his head reminded Jamal of just how intimate being with Nev could be. “Bed?”

  “Yes.”

  Jamal picked up an oil lamp from the table. He followed Nev into the bedroom

  * * * *

  Nev pointed a finger at a second oil lamp that was on a bedside shelf. It flared into light. Uncertain, he asked belatedly, “Unless you only wanted the one light?”

  Jamal smiled. “More light is just fine. It’s been weeks. I want to see you as well as touch you.” He gripped the lower edge of Nev’s tunic. “Can I undress you?”

  “Absolutely.”

  The tunic ended up on the floor as well as all the other clothes. Jamal ran his hands along Nev’s shoulders, chest, and down his sides to his hips. “You look like a work of art.” He pulled Nev against him and kissed him long and deep.

  Nev eventually tilted his head back a fraction and murmured, “You’re still dressed.”

  “That can be fixed. How ‘bout you help?”

  The slow grin Jamal gave stirred desire in Nev. He gave Jamal a gentle push to sit down and knelt to pull off Jamal’s boots. Once the boots were off, he reached out and petted the obviously bulge in Jamal’s legging.

  “If we get the rest of this off, you can touch that all you want.”

  It only took another minute or two to strip Jamal of the rest of his clothing. Nev took his own moment to admire the beautiful pale brown skin and the heavy sculpted muscles. He trailed his fingertips along angles of Jamal’s hip bones and then touched Jamal’s rigid protruding cock.

  Jamal made a humming noise of pleasure, then laid back on the bed and pulled Nev down on top of him.

  They kissed and petted and ground against each other for a time.

  “I want you in me,” Jamal said.

  Nev pressed a finger to Jamal’s chin, looking down into his eyes. “That seems…” he began and then continued, “You know I have no idea what I’m doing. You’ve been my only lover.”